Honest opinions please from a My ex-husband owns his own home and just rented out a room to a 40ish man who he knows from work. He just informed me that he is going to rent a second room in his house to an aquaintance we both knew from the old neighborhood, but did not hang out with. Both of these men smoke large amounts of pot and like to party etc. I know this because my ex use to tell me so when we were married, along with some other weird stories. In my opinion they behave immaturely. This is upsetting to me and I don't want my 3 year old hanging around at his dad's with these kind of people. I am also leary to send our young child in to a home with 2 men who are basiy strangers. Am I over-reacting????

I think it all depends on how responsible your ex is. What is he going to allow in his home when your child is there. If he doesn't allow any inappropriate behavior around your child, I would think it's ok. But you have to follow your guy on what's best for your child.

You are projecting, talk to the what the agenda will be when Jr. visits dad.

My ex did thesame thing and introduced my 11 year old to smoking pot. I ed CPS and ended that pretty quickly. No child needs a dad like that. Now he has supervised visitation at the police station.. PS He never smoked pot before the divorce and was a COP for gawds sake!

Skip the drama.. Talk to him about your concerns. After all truthfully very few parents would allow thier to be harmed. After all you loved him at one point enough to have a child, he can't be a bad person. So write down what's bothering you and talk with him. His friends are his choices, he can do what he chooses with HIS life now that you are apart. Look to your instinct, if things are not right tell him, be honest and not emotional, just because you dont like someone is not a real reason. Pot is distinct if your child is around it everything will smell! Just do a sniff test on the clothes, if it smells like the Tide detergent you use (with a little mud, because boys in the dirt), then no worries, if it has an odor then make a decision to make a change. and tell him about WHY you are making hhis change. Drama causes problems, your a parent and so is he.

You are not over-reacting and I would also look into these men as possible predators, you never know. Your son is 3 and won't be able to articulate exactly what happens over there. If his dad was a responsible person putting his child first, he wouldn't be renting to drug users.

I am pretty worried about these two being predators. Gosh we have to worry about these things these days, sad but true. I am not sure how to check on their backrounds. Maybe Megans's Law??

Maybe you could ask your ex to do a check as a standard thing before renting? There are registered sex offender sites online where you could search using their names. Every once in a while I check online to see if any have moved into our neighborhood or my ex's neighborhood. I tell my sons who to look out for and what to do. But your baby is 3 and I think you are being very smart to look into this.

No your aren't overracting Crimony, this is the best he can do in is association? Pot smokers *sigh*? I do not think you are over reacting...and I think it would probably be useless to ask what that agenda is when your son visits...as I'm certain he wouldn't say "we are going to fire up a blunt and blow the smoke on the kid". What to do under these circumstances? Show up unexpectedly and see what's happening for yourself. Maybe it will alleviate some of your fears. I've done this a couple of times...and it really keep him on his toes.

My ex says that there is no need for me to go into the house. I haven't met the one 40ish guy, only heard stories about him from my ex when we were married. I think if I showed up he would not want me to enter the house. I don't understand this because before they moved in he always invited me in.

its probably a frat house now with everything strewn everywhere. But, that isn't highly unusual. Try asking for what his plans are for activities for your x year old. Suggest that they may want to do things away from the home due to your concerns. I personally, don't think you are overreacting because pot smokers tend to be "passive" people (they it "stoned" for a reason). However, I wouldn't want my child exposed to this and make it clear to the ex.... Fortunate for you pot smells so if you smell anything suspcious on your child this would warrant you losing it with the ex for being irresponsible.

trust your instincts no trust you instinct