How long should i wait for her to file? I moved out in October in good faith during the course of mediation, Mediation fell apart in February due to fact that the terms were not good for me after I had a lawyer look at the seperation agreement. I gave her my new terms which are reasonable and fairer to me, She disagrees and has retained a lawyer who sent me a friendly "lets work it out amlicably" letter. I told her lawyer that she knows my terms and if she does not like them she should persue the divorce.....She is the one that got a boyfriend and cheated on me for 1 1/2 years before telling me she wanted out. She would'nt go to counseling or give up the boyfriend. I found out about the boyfriend 3 months after moving out. She has no grounds(NY is a fault state) so she will have to make something up. How long should I wait for her to file and serve me? If she is stalling should I move back into the house to get her to make her move???

If you have children, yes move back in. But, cover your ass & assets. Do not touch her. Record or videotape all conversations. She may threaten you with a Protection Order. These are not to be used as threats. That is enough to get her out of the house. Get as much evidence of the affair as you can. Good for you for standing your ground. Sounds like you have your head together. A lot of us have been cheated on & it hurts, it does get better.

She hasn't filed? File yourself then.

I would suggest you file like what cardiac said. You file. What I was told that if you file, it will look better for the good since she did cheat on you and you have full control on what you can divide your 50/50 with her. I recommend doing that with your attorney

FILE NOW it will look better to the judge for you to file....not filing shows you really didnt mind her cheating...do it now before she does!!!

don't wait I live in NY also went through same crap. If you have get to family court asap and file papers for custody usually the first one there win (not always) also don't waste money on private investigators in court they only care about the well being. If you want hr back don't beg or plead play hard ball, be strong

Agree with the others if are involved and you left, big mistake. Even without it is a mistake in the eyes of the court. Even worse is your statement that you found out she was a cheat three months after you moved. Meaning more or less you abandoned the marriage. You need to step up and back-peddle some. File now and get back into the house.

Move back in... NOW... As you said; "NY IS A FAULT STATE.." So, you having moved out is abandonment... You just gave HER grounds. Move back in and then do what the others here suggest so that you cover your ass(ets)!