so i'm listening to talk radio today, the am station that has dr. dell (think that's his name) on it, and after was a guy talking about relationships and the economy. apparently a lot of marriages are failing due to the bad economy and lack of jobs. apparently money is the #1 or #2 leading cause of divorce. i don't see how that is. aren't you and your spouse supposed to fight it out until the end? money seems so trivial compared to real problems people face. unless you married specifiy for money i don't see how someone could get a divorce over money. my ex and i went thru some business/money stuff that was completely insane. i actually think it kept us together longer. the relationship ended but not because of money, but because of me. so i just can't identify with this. aren't you supposed to marry someone and stick by their side no matter how hard the times are? i can see this really affecting men with stay at home wives. and if it ends in divorce, men get screwed way more than women. women want their previous lifestyle, and the man can't find a job that paid as much. anyone in this situation? please discuss...

Money was a big issue with my ex He loved to spend, I love to save. It was a constant fight. In the end it wasn't the reason for our divorce, but it sure helped my decision. If I was smart I would have divorced him sooner, 5 years I've been divorced and I'm still paying for his debt. I think too many couple get married not talking enough about money. So I can see why it would be the #1 or #2 cause of divorce. People don't like to talk about it, they think marriage is all about love and romance, when in reality it's really a business arrangement.

Ditto to this post - Money is huge My exwife loved to shop and spend on crap, which means I had to save even more than normal. Basiy she got what she wanted all the time, and I never did. Then it got to the point where she would start lying about amounts spent and stuff just because it would cause a fight. Money and finances are an integral part of a marraige - so if you have none...lol...it's going to be a prblem. It leads to broken trust...you can't trust the other to act in the family's best interest. Make sense? X

are you for real? are you realy inquiring about something like this? yes! money has forever been a reason people divorce. its either greed or lack of money. the lack of money is the situation majority rather than minority of families face more and more. and that does break up marriages! it also FORCES people to stay with spouses they dont love, or dont want to be with!

Money reckonings Money was a big issue in my previous relationship - mainly because my ex LOVED asking me to borrow money, but never really pay it back. He said he'd pay the bills, which he only did for a short time. There were other reasons why I broke up with him (including abuse), but that was one of the major ones.

ya, i can see how money can be attributed to ruining marriages - gambling, excessive spending, etc. but this broadcast was saying that the economy and loss of jobs is causing divorce. that's what i don't get. if you're out of job, you all band together and fight to get back up to the top.

Sure. My BF got laid off last year. Didn't work for 2 months, hurt like hell. We have three to feed. But we had a strong relationship at that time so it was easier to stick together. If that happened now it might be a little different. Things aren't as rock solid as they were. I guess it just depends on how healthy the relationship is.

because having no money makes you stressed and frustrated and depressed. i know sometimes when we have no money i get really down and its hard to deal with. i wouldnt get a divorce over money but i can see how it can happen. stress leads to arguing and negative vibes around all the time.

How I lost my love Money was the root of my negative attitude and drove her away from me. When we met I was an independent contractor. I was making good money. x months later, I couldn't find any projects, money was running low. I had to get a job in a factory just to show her I was trying. She thought I was just lazy. x weeks later I was layed off along with x/x of the company. I felt completely useless and projected my self image on to her and she believed me. She said to me that I am perfect for her but Im not materialistic/goal orrientated enough.. Meaning I cant find a stable job. Hmmm...can I blame it on the economy? Or should I blame myself. Good times

Mo' Money Mo' Problems One person told me that the reason why Americans have so many divorces is because our women are so independent. When I look at most marriages the less independent the woman is, the longer the marriage is. It's kinda sad to admit that, but that's in my personal observation. I've always wanted to be independent, so that if something crappy happens to me or my SO (and it has) I'd be equipped to take care of myself. That's why so many people tell you to live on your own first before going into a serious relationship. No one wants to admit that money causes divorce because it makes them sound shallow...but it is the truth. Marriage is a partnership and a business. If your partner isn't helping the business of family then the logical thing is to fire and replace them.

Marriage is a financial tool for women, dude Heck, I guess from their shoes it makes sense. If their ATM machine stops working they kick it to the curb! If more men get more wisdom about the true nature of marriage then some good will come of this economic crisis. I guess too that if more women get a wake up that they cant just plan on latching onto some poor dude as a source of money, women will gain too. At least they can become better human beings than many of them are today. I'm like Obama here. Yeah the challenges are huge. But if we can learn the lessons we finally need to learn, these times can be a turning point for good.

that's what i was wondering about the show i was listening to. i would think a family would try and stay together and ride out the bad times. but if either party were in it just for the money, then divorce is a no brainer. i love obama, but i think that americans are some of the dumbest people walking this great earth. "we" should have learned SOMETHING from the dot.com crash. that's even recent. too bad corruption and greed rule this world. to make REAL changes you gotta start at the top.

Change the radio station. Pop psychology isn't going to help you understand things.

listening problem I think OP has a hearing problem, pop or no pop. walk_hard I don't think simply money is what Dr Dell meant. It seems you have no and no idea how much babies-care costs or what you're supposed to do with them (raise them), nor how much CS the lower earner, man or woman, gets in a divorce compared to what he/she could earn if being single with no obligation. or how often the men divorce their families.

Marriage is a financial tool for men, dude Heck, I guess from their shoes it makes sense. If their ATM machine stops working they kick it to the curb! If more women get more wisdom about the true nature of marriage then some good will come of this economic crisis. I guess too that if more men get a wake up that they cant just plan on latching onto some poor gal as a source of money, men will gain too. At least they can become better human beings than many of them are today. ... You and your once-other-half are not the whole world, dude. Don't try to flatter yourself too much! I make more than the men I've dated. So do millions of other women.

Most women make more than I do now..no bother I have recently become a victim of the crashing economy. I had my own contracting thing going. I was doing well, then the projects started to slow down and become non existent. I then had to resort to an assembly position which lasted just under a month before half the place was layed off. I am now living on unemployment. I have no issues surviving I'm just worried about the future and will I have someone worth fighting for.

Welcome to real life! Wear your body armor, it's fucking rough out there.

Except for frontier farming, it has always been. It's like tobacco kills, BUT NOT DIRECTLY. Lack of money has been the number one root of divorce for as long as I can remember.

It's not the money, it's the stress. It's not the money, at least directly - it's the stress caused by the hardship and also decisions made based on lack of money. Few people are going to say "my SO got lost his job, so I'm leaving". That's not what this is about. The job loss means the bill start to stack up, hard choices have to be made about where to cut. Fights start when one spends on something the other thinks is foolish, etc. It's the stress and the fights that end up killing the marriage. A good one can survive this, but it's still difficult.