He wants a divorce. I am pregnant. What to do? Married 5 years, 2 children and 17 weeks pregnant with a third (yes, it's his...stupid me, I forgave him after his affair earlier this year). He now wants a divorce. We live in WI. His parents, brother, aunt/uncle, and grandma live within walking distance and could offer him a place to stay at least 50% of the time. My family lives 5 hours away. How do we manage a separation during this pregnancy when I literally would have nowhere else to go? I'm not in a position to pack up and move out with 2.5 children, so the whole "bird nesting" concept would be the easiest on all of us until after the baby is born. But he refuses to even entertain the notion of sleeping anywhere but "his" house (for which I've always paid 50%). No judge will make rulings while I'm pregnant, so I'm at a total loss as to what to do in the meantime...

You don't have to move until a court says you have to. Tell him he is welcome to get the fuck out. Then tomorrow you go find a family attorney and file for divorce includind use of the residence, child support and spoussal support maintenance. Whatever you do, do not leave the home.

^kid owner^

How long does that take? Assuming the court rules eventually that I do have to leave the home, any idea how much time they'd give me to find another place to live? I'm dreading the notion of trying to move right after I having a baby in June, but I refuse to move prior to that.

The court may not rule that you ever have to move, they might rule that you keep the house and pay him off. They might just rule the house be sold as well. Go talk to an attorney.

I don't want the house because: 1. He brought his "girlfriend" here (while I was out of town and our children were sleeping in the next room) to have sex with her in our living room. Since finding out that little nugget, I no longer think of this place as my home. 2. The house sits on a parcel of land that was gifted to him prior to our marriage. It's literally within shouting distance of most of his family. There's no way I'd want to live in their little "commune" after the divorce. And, sadly, because of the economic climate, there's little to no equity in it anyhow. I just want an idea how much time I have before I have to leave, so I can start making plans.

just start making plans there is no way to tell, they are not going to throw a woman and children out with no notice You will get A LOT of child support with 3 children. You need to file with an attorney. Only they can tell you what your area usually does.

you move the 2 will stay with him

No. He can go, he's the one who wants a divorce he's cheating and expects her to just walk no fucking way

think again... Concerned that you are thinking with your wounded heart. You have to try harder to think of what is best for you and the children. Perhaps the judge will not displace you and the children allowing you shelter and resources for a considerable period of time if not indefinetely. Such consideration from the courts could mean the difference between you having a home or being homeless. What do you have to lose in allowing the courts to make the final judgment? He is on the hook for the family he has made. And that family needs resources and shelter more than anything. The courts know this. Put aside the emotional pain for a moment and recognize that much bigger issues of survival are at hand.

erroneous It is an error to think that no judge will make a ruling while you are pregnant. Don't leave. Stay! Let him be the one to leave if he must. Let the courts decide the best end result. Worse case senario, is that you will be ordered out within a reasonable time frame to relocate and you will be awarded support. Isn't that better than leaving with no way to survive? Dont let women haters frighten you concerning your children. If you are a loving and fit mom that is prepared to contribute to the financial and emotional needs of your children, the courts will recognize the importance of them staying with you. And if you stay in the home in the same city as he resides, then that means your can have both parents involvement. Use your head! Move your feet, you'll lose your seat and if you snooze, you lose.

Just give him the dang house It's not a home anymore. It's too close to his family. He had sex in it with another woman while your children were sleeping in the next room. Call your family, pack the and leave. File for divorce, and make sure to get a separate order of withholding so you can garnish his wages for the child support of his three minor children. Then go be happy. So what if you win it in a divorce case, you really don't want to live that close to him and his folks. Tell him you are going to ask that it be sold in the proceedings. I'm sure he will find a way to buy your portion of the house's value before it gets that far. Then use that money to start fresh near your own family.

That's what I'm planning As I said before, I don't want the house, and there's probably not much equity to divide between us. I'd much rather take whatever I can and make a new beginning for myself and the . I won't take this lying down, but I also don't want to drag the through hell just to prove that I'm right. The stress is no good during pregnancy, and it's the reason I am having hard time gaining weight. I AM thinking about what's best for myself and the children...it's just a tricky situation.

my ex left me on christmas day Just think of it this way. the will be better off if they don't see ya'll arguing. if there is stuff in the house he wants, give it to him. So long as it is not the television or the dvd player (those are for the ). It is just stuff, and in the long run the will appreciate it more if they don't see the two of you arguing over it. Just make sure that you attach his pension for the sake. Then after the divorce, make sure that the lawyer puts it in writing that any and all funds from his pension go into a trust for the . Other things I learned was that we often leave things out of the divorce decree without realizing it and once done, it can't be undone. make sure to include health insurance, future college expenses, future automobile insurance and repair clauses for all children. Insist that he carry at least $x,x in life insurance on his own life for each child. And make sure to include the wording for co-payments and balances owed on hospital or doctor's visits, as well as, prescription drug costs. Basiy, just sit down and make a list of all the expenses related to the children in the past year, and then look towards the future and what expenses will come into play as the get older. By the time he is done reading and griping about it all, he will realize he really stepped into it. Oh and make sure to include the expenses for childhood teams. All little boys want to play baseball or football and it can get to be expensive sports. And all little girls want to take dance (really expensive). But if you look out for them, they will know it and come to appreciate it in the future.