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Pages: is it cuz he's just not into me? [1]
Author Topic: Is it cuz he's just not into me?
schafer

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2011-02-17 20-17-33

is it cuz he's just not into me? I've been seeing this guy for a little over a year and have fallen in love with him. However, he tells me he doesn't love me but likes me alot. I think that after a year, if he still doesn't love me by now, he never will. Should I just move on or can it take someone that long to fall in love? I know he's stressed out about his finances plus he ended a long term relationship about 2 years ago. So could that influence his feelings or is it cuz he's just not into me?
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shifrin

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2011-02-21 14-59-17

settle for friendship with this guy And go on searching for someone who can satisfy your feeling and meet your expectation.
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lorey

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2011-02-25 23-47-29

He told you that.... he's just not that into you when "he tells [you] he doesn't love [you] but likes [you] alot(sic)" why do you need us to tell you what you already know? You already have that deep gut feeling, that doubt in your heart, validation from this guy... If you want more, he's letting you know its NOT with him! Time for you to let go, bc he's not holding on, its you.
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smigel

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2011-02-28 5-04-16-

Sounds like this is going nowhere If he has been dating you for a year now and only "likes you a lot" then chances are his feelings aren't as strong as yours are. I don't even know that it really matters *why* he doesn't feel the same, because I don't think you should wait around to see what happens. You could end up devoting years of your life to a guy who thinks you're perfectly fine for casual sex and good times but doesn't care for you enough to want you to be his forever. Out of curiosity, did he "love" his ex? That should tell you something about where you stand.
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saathoff

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2011-03-04 5-52-51-

This happened to me once This was so hard and made me almost sick to do it but...... Start distancing yourself. Get a hobby, stop being available and stop the "him pleasing" sex and pampering, IYKWIM?? make it all about you. Start really trying to enjoy yourself and keep busy. Baths, yummy personal splurges, trips to the gym. Do you know what happened? He realized he loved me and couldnt live without me. Do you know what I realized? That I was feeling really good about myself and that I didnt really love him. It took me almost 2 years to shake him, lol. Good luck. Waking up is good :D
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mccolley

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2011-03-09 16-07-42

Dang, everything seems to have happened to you once.
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leidner

Sexy
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2011-03-10 21-01-20

Its true. Whats your point??
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donoghue

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2011-03-10 21-01-23

Exactly. He's not that into you and your gut is giving you the clear "move on" but your mind is getting in the way. Quit over-thinking things. Honor yourself by realizing you deserve better than what he has to offer you. Move on. He's just not that into you. WHY? It doesn't matter. If he was the guy for you, you'd be on the same page.
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delrosso

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2011-03-18 21-15-49

So he's emotionally unstable and bad with money? Why do you love him, again?
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waverly

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2011-03-24 10-41-42

cuz he's charming. its easy.
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yingsha

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2011-03-26 6-45-13-

a sagittarius
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guterman

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2011-04-02 9-11-31-

that's what the OP is
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gemignani

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2011-04-06 17-36-05

word salad troll! lol
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tomasina

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2011-04-06 19-11-15

like you know what a salad is meat head
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Helma

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2011-04-07 1-51-29-

PS,I can make carrot salad in three different ways with just twelve different spices.But you wouldn't know that because you can hardly enjoy the garden salad.
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poromova

Hero Member
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2011-04-07 4-47-32-

unacceptable
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berry

Sexy
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2011-04-10 10-46-48

He is telling you who he is and you are choosing not to believe him!! Why is that?? Why do you want to continue to allow him to use you taking your time and affection and not returning it? Why would you keep settling for someone who is not available to love you? Why are you waiting for him to give you the relationship you want. IF he wont give you what you want why stay and complain?? You are the only one who can fix this. He is happy getting the milk for free there is no need for him to give any more he has what he wants. You on the other gave away too much with out getting it in return. He is using you and your are allowing it to happen but you have the power to fix this.
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grayson

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2011-04-14 13-00-23

exactly
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bouquet

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2011-04-21 23-41-22

absence makes the heart grow fonder You imply in your post that stress in his life might have prevented him falling love with you as you have with him. I think this is a good opportunity to test this theory on him. End your relationship with him (to whatever extent you want, but really make sure it is clear that you are not together with him anymore). He may realize his love for you. He may not. At the same time, hopefully you can find a smooth way to move on in case he does not seek to get back together. I'm in the very early stages of a relationship that I anticipate may end up like yours. If it does, I hope to adopt the same advice I just shelled out. It's hard, I know. Love yourself as much as you love him. More even.
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watrous

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2011-04-23 12-18-41

Honestly, you sound okay to me, but a lot of folks who are pushing hard for "love" in a relationship are actually more into trapping the other person. Is it truly that he doesn't love you enough or isn't affectionate enough, or are you looking for something else, like A COMMITMENT. Myself, I think that type of thing often goes contrary to love, but that is how a lot of people choose to play it. Make sure you are clear with yourself about what you want, and what you are asking of this guy. Love is a rose, but you better not pick it, Only grows when it's on the vine. Hand full of thorns, and you know that you missed it. Lose your love when you say the word "mine".
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panebianco

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Posts: 3

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2011-04-23 12-52-52

write something like this than expect nothing in return .But of course you(as a male) can dress up as a transvestite since i find them very very beautifully entertaining.
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leitzke

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2011-04-29 5-51-50-

write something like this than expect nothing in return .But of course you(as a male) can dress up as a transvestite since i find them very very beautifully entertaining.
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odoherty

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2011-05-09 12-58-22

^^^^^Believe this^^^^
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wamsley

Sexy
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2011-05-14 1-00-18-

First point, are you two having sex and if the answer is yes, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN BED WITH A MAN WHO DOESN'T EVEN LOVE YOU. Why don't you sit down and write out the rules of your life. Not someone else rules, but what you will and will not accept in other peoples behavior toward you. How you will and will not respond other people who show up in your life. See right now, you don't how you will react to anything. You don't know you limits, you don't know your self. You must sit down think about you and your life, and write out your bottom line. It will keep you from being in this same situation a year from now. Very few people ever really know what their rules for interacting with other are. Many don't have rules, they just fall from one situation to the next. And end up thinking, how did I get my self in this mess.
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walding

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2011-06-05 1-47-50-

move on
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Yoko

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2011-06-26 0-56-20-

move on move on
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