Help! Dear friends, My dear father-inlaw passed away last weekend. We were very close. during the three weeks he was ill, I never left his side. I stayed with him and took care of him day and night. My husbands ex and her mother (drama-laden troublemakers) showed up at the funeral when they were not supposed to be there. They started a ruckus and both attacked me. The ex went to the police station and took out a complaint against me saying I had "punched her in the face" which I never did! My husband, shockingly and I still can't understand, took HER side and DEFENDED her! (they had an affair last summer). The next morning, My husband and I got into a fight, he took my bank card so I had no access to any funds, went outside and did something to the side of his face (I kid you not) and ed the police. Next thing I know, a police officer comes walking into my bedroom with my husband and my husband has this big whelp on the side of his face. I was shocked. He accused me of "punching him in the face with my fist" just like his ex did the night before! He had me arrested(I've NEVER been arrested or even had a parking ticket!) It was humiliating and frightening. I still can't believe all of this is happening. I could only go back to my home to get some belongings and now I am staying at an extended stay, looking for a job. I have nothing! I don't understand why all of this is happening and I'm devastated. I feel like I'm living a redneck tv show. Does anyone know of help in the Charlotte, NC of any kind? I'm not even sure what help I'm seeking. Just something to give me hope. I feel like my life has fallen apart and I don't understand WHY. I've been set up horribly and I feel like I'm in some kind of scary lifetime movie! I have nothing with me except some shoes and a few clothes. I'm on a borrowed laptop as he had our laptop taken out of the house so I couldn't get it when I picked up some of my things, even though there are two other computers in the house! I got word last night that he is not going to pay the cell phone bill so my phone will be cut off and I have no means to pay it. Except for the help of a couple of friends, I wouldn't even be able to get a McDonalds hamburger!

and I thought my date friday was crazy

Lawyer up ASAP Do not speak to the police without counsel present. Do not sign anything. Do not agree to anything. Do not be anywhere close to your husband without an impartial third party present. Start ing domestic violence shelters and see if they can help. Go to the bank and get a new card. Withdraw half the cash in the account. I would also go see a doctor to get the hands you allegedly hit him with examined. If you hit him with the force necessary to cause the damage you described, you should have an injury yourself. Documentation is power - make sure you get yours.

i can only add one thing... Go to the bank and get a new card. Withdraw half the cash in the account. I figure ratherbegrey meant this but don't wait for the new card. You can use a counter check or a withdrawal slip to get the money.

and - go right now

Protect Your Identity Also

smart man above, good advice

take pictures too.... take pictures of your hands...if you hit someone hard enough to leave a mark on them it leaves a mark on you!! especially if you had done it twice as they claim!!

oh, and I recommend writing everything you can remember down as well as any witnesses there might have been. You want to have any witnesses also document what they saw and heard SIGN and DATE and have a third party witness the signatures...Because of your emotional state you do not want to change the details, it makes you less credible.

about hands... The police didn't believe him, neither did the judge because I have no marks, scratches, bruises, broke nail, nothing on my hands. I'm only 5'1, 125 pounds, and have small hands and he is 6'1, 230 pounds and the ex is pretty good size herself (not trying to be nasty, but...)This is all insane. I feel like I've been catapulted into a redneck tv drama. Whats worse, I'm an ordained minister, we're suppose to be christians, active in our church, etc. Everybody is in absolute shock. I just can't believe any of this. It feels like some horrible dream.

The best thing you can do is remain calm (as hard as that might be) and collected, especially in front of police and judges. Don't let them make you crazy--that is exactly what they're trying to do. Take a deep breath, secure as much of your resources as you can, and surround yourself with family (yours, not his obviously). And stay the hell away from him. Any bastard that tries to send his wife to jail for no reason ought to be tied up and beated with socks full of batteries.

no kidding.... Court appointed me an attorney because my husband took away all access to finances. He had me removed from the bank account! I learned this morning that the charges are going to be dropped. Guess they just wanted me out of the way. The house, the business, both in his name, he had before me. It is scary to think that in the blink of an eye, someone can do this to you (especially your own spouse) and you have no home, no marriage, no family, no money, nothing. I don't understand how this can be allowed to happen, how there are no consequences....

Wow, I am so sorry I have a friend whose ex-wife did something real similar. If possible, have your lawyer freeze accounts and such. Often if it's moved or gone, I think you have a more difficult time recovering it.

lawyer will probably recommend... ...that she file for separate maintenance. Can't dispose of assets then - judges *really* frown on shenanigans like that. In North Carolina there are only two grounds for divorce - incurable insanity or separation for one year.

wizard... I think this certainly qualifies as incurable insanity to me, don't you....can't get more insane than this....

i agree completely... ...but getting a doc to certify it might be kinda tough. Hang in there - but protect yourself. blessings -

I don't think that's right According to "Grounds for Filing: The Complaint for Divorce must declare the appropriate North Carolina grounds upon which the divorce is being sought. The appropriate lawful ground will be that which the parties agree upon and can substantiate, or that which the filing spouse desires to prove to the court. The divorce grounds are as follows: The court may grant divorces from bed and board on application of the party injured, made as by law provided, in the following cases if either party: No-Fault: (x) Marriages may be dissolved and the parties thereto divorced from the bonds of matrimony on the application of either party, if and when the husband and wife have lived separate and apart for one year. Fault: A spouse must commit one of the following acts: (x) Abandons his or her family. (x) Maliciously turns the other out of doors. (x) By cruel or barbarous treatment endangers the life of the other. In addition, the court may grant the victim of such treatment the remedies (x) Offers such indignities to the person of the other as to render his or her condition intolerable and life burdensome. (x) Becomes an excessive user of alcohol or drugs so as to render the condition of the other spouse intolerable and the life of that spouse burdensome. (x) Commits adultery. (North Carolina Statutes - Chapter x - Sections: x-x.x and x-x)"

well, somebody's wrong ;-) And I hope it's me. What are the grounds for absolute divorce in North Carolina? There are only two grounds for divorce in North Carolina. The first is a one-year separation. You must assert, under oath, that you and your spouse have been living separate and apart for one year. It is not enough to assert that you have lived in separate bedrooms, or that you have not engaged in acts of sexual intercourse. You must live in separate residences during that year. You do not need to file any papers to document the beginning of your separation; your assertion is sufficient to prove that the year has elapsed. The second ground for divorce in North Carolina is incurable insanity. However, this is rarely used.

Hmm Well whatever the right answer is, there has got to be some sort of legal remedy available to tacampbell. I really hope her soon to be ex gets what he deserves - he needs to be smoted and smoted good.

Go to a woman's crisis shelter immediately.

you could probably sue for hardship and/emotional distress...but only if you think you will win...

I don't know for sure but I think even if he had those things before he met you, if there is no prenup involved, you still have access to them in a divorce. Correct me if I'm wrong??

From [what I understand] she has rights to it because there was no pre-nup and they joined together and each of their seperate assests/debts etc. joined as one. He would have to buy her out after determination of what the company is worth at the time of the divorce. That is what the standard is but again there is so much room for lawyers to sway things like this in court and without much money she would have to find one that is sure he/she could win and then get paid from her settlement. [had to make sure that you know its from what i understand so wiz doesnt have to correct me again today ;)]

partxme.... Wrong. Believe it or not. Unfair, totally.....

Says who?

says.... Says the courts. I've watched it happen to too many people. Completely unfair. Marriage is supposed to be a x-x union, but sadly, it's not. Just ask all the poor men out there who, in a divorce, lost home, finances, children, resources, and barely survive, with paying outrageous child support, alimony, insurance, bills, former mortgage that they have to pay for a house they no longer live in. This game plays no favorites.

So why can't your husband be one of those men who loses everything in the divorce and is stuck paying alimony for years on end? I really urge you to seek counsel.

So why can't your husband be one of those men who loses everything in the divorce and is stuck paying alimony for years on end? I really urge you to seek counsel.

attorney We have been married a year and a half, so realistiy, I just don't expect too much, but a lawyer will help guide me in all of that. He has had his business for twenty years. When he and ex divorced, she got nothing out of it, and she worked for him, without pay, from day one (he screwed her royally, and she still chases after him, talk about lunacy). So, in light of that, I really don't know what to expect, but i'm going to try, thats for sure. she didn't press the issue or ask for anything in their divorce because she was still trying to get him back. as for assets, he has no retirement (I have often talked to him about the wisdom of that)...he lives by the seat of his pants