Any sage advice for how to handle parents? I'm a x years old Chinese only child. My parents are first generation immigrants. Though they're not really the most overprotective Asians imaginable, they do fit a lot of Asian stereotypes of still treating me like a young kid. I'm pretty close to my parents and hate upsetting them in any way. Anyway, I never tell my parents about the guys I'm dating because I don't want them to worry. Mostly I just talk to them about studying like a good Asian child. But over a year now I've been dating a guy and I feel like I'm well past the point where I should have told my parents about him. He's a great guy. Graduated from my college and has a nice job. The only thing I'm nervous about is that he's white. Another thing is that it turned into a really ugly an incident about a year and a half ago when my parents found out I was dating a guy as well as some birth control once they started snooping around. They basiy told me not to see said guy anymore (without knowing anything about him except he wasn't Asian and he was probably sleeping with me). I didn't really respond or rebel to because we were breaking up at the time anyway. After a while things cooled down and we never really talked about it. I've been living at home for over a month now and have been sneaking around so I can see him without my parents knowing. I'll be going back to school soon so it's not like I can't keep this up for a while. It's just that I see a future with this guy and we both think I should tell my parents about him soon. I really don't want my parents to know I've been hiding this guy, given the previous incident with the other guy. So I'm thinking of having him pick me up at my house to go out and then introducing him to my parents as a friend. Ideally they'll get the idea that he is definitely more than a friend but won't think that we've already been dating for so long (why i dont want to just spring it on them that he's my boyfriend). I'm not sure if this is believable? I've only brought over x or x people from college and they were people that my parents knew about well ahead of time so I do think they'll think it's pretty weird that this guy just sprang up out of nowhere.

Several things: There is a point in every person's life where they decide they must be the adult. This is no matter what race, religion, or anything else you are. I think most of us can remember when we decided to make our own decisions even if we knew our parents may not agree. So my opinions: x. Its way past time to tell the parents. If you really see this going someone do make your man seem like a second-class person by saying he is just a friend. You could let your parent know you met someone really special at school this year and that if they are willing, yo would like them to meet him. x. Your parents, on finding out about this guy do not have to let you continue living in their home or paying for your school or anything else. But this is where becoming an adult comes in. you have to decide if being your own person is worth it. x. Do you have any friends at school with the same issue? They don't have to be chinese. Many children of foreign immigrants have the problem of taking on American culture and conflict with parents. It can be hard for parents to understand why you would not want to continue to be more like the chinese children they would expect back home in china. x. Do not feel in any way responsible for your parents being able to communicate with anyone. Lets look at reality. They have chosen to come to a country that speaks a different language and not learn that language. It isn't your responsibility to make sure they can communicate in this new land, that is their own. x. your parents may be hurt and disappointed. They have hopes and dreams for you just like you have for yourself. But i can assure you that this is every parent, not just Chinese ones. They will have to decide whether to love and support you, or reject you if you don't do what they want.

This my be old-fashioned but My wife is a first generation immigrant from India. I am an American of European descent. When we meet in college, she let me understand that she was not going to introduce a series of boyfriends to her parents. She would only introduce her fiance. I had no problem with that because I had already proposed. You could wait until her proposes to introduce him. Also, you could she if he wants to learn Chinese (yes, I understand how hard that is to do). My father taught his Vietnamese wifeto speak English and I feel that they have very good communication skills. This is assuming that you speak Chinese. Also, have you had these two converstations? one, with your parents seeking their advice on the best qualities for a husband. In this conversation you could find whether they expect you to marry only another Chinese person. Two, with you boyfriend about children, what religion to raise the children in, marriage, spending and saving habits, financial goals, his career aspects, on how to resolve conflicts between the two of you? You know you basic conversations that should take place before marriage? Just somethings to think over. Best of Luck

My relationship with my parents improved when I moved out of their house and started paying for my own tuition, rent, food, and birth control. That being said, it still took some time for them to learn to appreciate me as an adult. Can you sit down with your parents and tell them that you would like for them to be a part of your life but that they need to accept you as you are (white boyfriend and all)? If not, it may be time to move out. They may have an easier time dealing with your life as an adult while they are not providing the roof over your head.

When are you going to move out on your own?