Morning grave, morning brat Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree ed?" Sam: "I don't know." Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark." Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"

hahahaha thats great

Clarification A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library. He approaches a student and asked, "Excuse me young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?" The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, "I'm sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!" The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, "I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, dummy?"

In a class on abnormal psychology, the instructor was about to introduce the subject of manic depression. The instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth, screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the rear raised his hand and suggested earnestly, "A basketball coach?"

complaints An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, "The parrot I purchased uses improper language." "I'm surprised," said the owner. "I've never taught that bird to swear." "Oh, it isn't that," explained the professor. "But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive."

I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, 'So which six items would you like to buy?'

Morning grey! How goes it? Hey grave, notme. New dog breeds; They crossed a Collie and a Lhasa Apso. The new breed is a Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport. They crossed a Spitz and a Chow-Chow. The new breed is a Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot. They crossed a Pointer and a Setter. The new breed is a Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet. They crossed a Great Pyrenees and a Dachshund. The new breed is a Pyradachs, a puzzling breed. They crossed a Pekingese and a Lhasa Apso. The new breed is Peekasso, an abstract dog. They crossed a Irish Water Spaniel and a English Springer Spaniel. The new breed is a Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean. They crossed a Labrador Retriever and a Curly Coated Retriever. The new breed is a Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of laboratory researchers.

& then there's the miniature nutzer

that's not a dog.... that's a dog toy.

THATS A FOOTBALL! damn little dogs have short man syndrome! Damn things need to be punted over the back fence!

mornin'....is it x:x yet?

Morning Notme I get "secured" at noon today!

Tied up????

I get secured tonight at around x... wait, that's different. N/M. G'morning navy! Plans for New Year?

Stay home and sleep I'm staying away from Suicide Alley and the Demolition (SP?) derby area of the interestates. These idiots around here can't drive sober, what makes me think they can drive drunk?

What are your plans?

Where the hell is suicide alley? I'm headed up to Gettysburg, PA. Me and the g/f are getting a hotel room and getting slam drunk. My brother and his girl might be meeting us up there also. Free room, so I'm not complaining.

Suicide Alley is Ix here in VA Beach I can hear it from my house, and about x-x every morning you hear sirens about every x minutes. I was talking to a State Trooper and he told me that, its the most dangerous road around here.

Ah. Haven't been down that way in a while. Had a former g/f and we went down there to visit her uncle's auto shop. She had a Merkur Scorpio. Never heard of it before but it was a solid car. Weren't legal to drink but bought a bottle anyway. Fuuuuunnnnn after that! Oh yeah, jokes. Here ya go! BAR ROOM TRANSLATIONS x x. "Excuse Me." (male to male) (Get the hell out of the way.) x. "Excuse Me." (male to female) (I am going to grope you now.) x. "Excuse Me." (female to male) (Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of the way.) x. "Excuse Me." (female to female) (Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and don't think for one minute that you are. And get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you like the slut you are.) x. "What do you have on tap?" (What's cheap?) x. "Can I have a white Russian?" (male) (I'm *really* gay.) x. "Can I have a white Russian?" (female) (I'm *really* easy.) x. "That person looks really familiar." (Did I sleep with him/her?) x. Can I just get a glass of water?" (female) (I'm annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.) x. I don't have my ID on me." (female) (I'm x.) x. "I don't have my ID on me." (male) (I don't have a license since I got pulled over and blew a x.x after my last visit here)

VA Drivers are the WORST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ever seen DC drivers in the rain? Or the snow for that matter? God awful!

I think some of these VA drivers need their drivers licenses yanked. As well as there are some people around here that should be forced to take a test to see whether or not they are allowed to breed.

GM Navy I was stationed at Langley, you hit it right on the nose, VA drivers are some of the worse drivers I ever saw in my life.

It's x:x somewhere. In that case, I'm leaving!